The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
