If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
