Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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