i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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