we're chasing vodka with high fives
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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