You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
