Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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