Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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