I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
