The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
birth control should be required to get into college
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
