oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize