don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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