Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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