Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
