she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
