walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
