I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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