Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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