i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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