spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
