What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
