i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
