So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
