I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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