I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
