what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone came in the potted fern
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
