shes about as inviting as chlamydia
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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