my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
