am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
