i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
