quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
