His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
