Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
