i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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