keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
