i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
