god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
