Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
