If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
