I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
