I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
