New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
