my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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