just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
