so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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