I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
