Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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