don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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