More tranny stories later!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
