Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
